Answer - In a Catholic school.
Backstory.
Today Jake's class left on a four day trip to the Grand Canyon. With the bus leaving promptly at 7:45.
OOPS!
Make that bus leaving promptly at 7:00.
OOPS!
Last minute change of plans... bus leaving at 6:30!
Guess who never got the message?
Guess who was enjoying a cup of coffee at 7:17 when the phone rang with a friend asking, "Is Jakey coming?!"
The school (quite nicely) held the bus (although the buses were late) and the kids ended up waiting 27 minutes for my child...
We're embarrassed. However, these things happen and all we really cared about was that Jake not get too bad of a time from his buddies... a little ribbing is expected.
What we didn't expect was the burning pitchfork treatment we received from some of the parents.
Because: this is bullshit! This is fucked up! How dare they... they are ruining it for ALL OF OUR KIDS!
These are just some of the things a few of the mommies had to say about us.
After all, the bus was leaving 27 minutes later than planned and we all know that 27 minutes is the difference between 4 good days and, I guess 4 shitty days. In fact, if anything goes wrong over the next 96 hours it will most likely be our fault... those damn 27 minutes.
Fortunately, I had a good friend in that conversation who had my back and very vocally stood up for me.
But, come on, folks. I'm sorry. I truly am sorry. It wasn't my intent to hold anyone or anything up and I certainly didn't do on purpose... it wasn't deliberate and it was the school's decision to hold the bus for my child... not mine.
However, way to go Catholic parents... way to show tolerance and compassion... I mean, standing around and calling me names... what Christian behavior.
Makes the decision to take our kids out of religious education next year all the easier.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
How To Humiliate Yourself In 4 Easy Steps
My children did not have school on Friday... which is nothing unusual as despite the state of California mandating 185 academic days a year, my personal calendar clocks them at about 12. In the spirit of making the most of the 3 day weekend, Hugh took the boys up to Lake Mead for some boating/wake boarding/surf skiing fun times whilst Eva and I planned ourselves a few days of High School Musical 3 and shopping.
The girl child had a birthday party to attend on Friday so we headed out to the shops an hour before hand to pick up a present and grab an early lunch... somehow, a cute new pair of jeans managed to find their way into my hands and I was forced to buy them in my attempt to stimulate the economy.
Halfway to the party I decided I wanted to wear the new jeans (let's be honest, the ones I had on were feeling a wee bit snug), but home was too far so I opted to pull into a parking lot, to a remote spot and change in the car.
You can see where this is going right?
Now, I haven't changed clothes in a car since, oh the eighties, and I'm a lot less limber and back then I was probably slipping into some minuscule size nothing skirt and not trying to wrestle myself out of one pair of jeans and into another...
Step One (in theory) - Put seat as far back as it will go and recline... unzip jeans and raise hips, slide jeans down in one fluid motion. THE REALITY - Easy enough until you realize that the steering wheel is sort of in the way and you can't get your ass high enough off the seat so you start to endure a series of awkward tugs which end with your jeans above your knees and your tee shirt unattractively hiked up half over your bra.
Step Two (in theory) - Take new jeans, scrunch down and slip feet through... again raise hips and shimmy jeans up... THE REALITY - There isn't enough leg room to bring your knees up and again, the steering wheel gets in the way of being able to bend down.... settle for throwing jeans at your feet and prodding your way into them. Get jeans up to knees and then realize that you are sitting in a small car, with jeans halfway up (or down) your body, you are sweating like a whore in church and your daughter is looking at you strangely. Realize you are not quite sure how you will get jeans up and over your ass without standing. Sit for a few minutes and ponder sanity.
Step Three (in theory) - Well, in theory, the damn jeans are on by now, but THE REALITY has you splay yourself across both the driver and passenger seats and pull with all your might. Jeans are on! You spasm your way back behind the wheel, decide zipping and buttoning can wait but you do take a moment to talk to your daughter about "secrets" and how this is a story for just her and Mommy (and, apparently the Internet)...
Step Four (in theory) - Go about your business. Which I almost did... until, driving out of the parking lot when I saw THE REALITY of the security camera. Trained right on me.
Dear Lord, please let them blur out my face before they post it on You Tube.
The girl child had a birthday party to attend on Friday so we headed out to the shops an hour before hand to pick up a present and grab an early lunch... somehow, a cute new pair of jeans managed to find their way into my hands and I was forced to buy them in my attempt to stimulate the economy.
Halfway to the party I decided I wanted to wear the new jeans (let's be honest, the ones I had on were feeling a wee bit snug), but home was too far so I opted to pull into a parking lot, to a remote spot and change in the car.
You can see where this is going right?
Now, I haven't changed clothes in a car since, oh the eighties, and I'm a lot less limber and back then I was probably slipping into some minuscule size nothing skirt and not trying to wrestle myself out of one pair of jeans and into another...
Step One (in theory) - Put seat as far back as it will go and recline... unzip jeans and raise hips, slide jeans down in one fluid motion. THE REALITY - Easy enough until you realize that the steering wheel is sort of in the way and you can't get your ass high enough off the seat so you start to endure a series of awkward tugs which end with your jeans above your knees and your tee shirt unattractively hiked up half over your bra.
Step Two (in theory) - Take new jeans, scrunch down and slip feet through... again raise hips and shimmy jeans up... THE REALITY - There isn't enough leg room to bring your knees up and again, the steering wheel gets in the way of being able to bend down.... settle for throwing jeans at your feet and prodding your way into them. Get jeans up to knees and then realize that you are sitting in a small car, with jeans halfway up (or down) your body, you are sweating like a whore in church and your daughter is looking at you strangely. Realize you are not quite sure how you will get jeans up and over your ass without standing. Sit for a few minutes and ponder sanity.
Step Three (in theory) - Well, in theory, the damn jeans are on by now, but THE REALITY has you splay yourself across both the driver and passenger seats and pull with all your might. Jeans are on! You spasm your way back behind the wheel, decide zipping and buttoning can wait but you do take a moment to talk to your daughter about "secrets" and how this is a story for just her and Mommy (and, apparently the Internet)...
Step Four (in theory) - Go about your business. Which I almost did... until, driving out of the parking lot when I saw THE REALITY of the security camera. Trained right on me.
Dear Lord, please let them blur out my face before they post it on You Tube.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Parenting - It's Not Just For Martyrs!
I've been all over the Internet these past few days looking to read something that is not about AIG and all I can find are endless blogs about *whine* parenting hardships.
No sleep! No nice restaurants! No good hair days!
Whaaaa!!
Is it wrong that I find myself yelling at the computer screen?
Some of these mommies are on the 2nd, 3rd or even 4th child which means that they are on year infinity of parenting drama.
We get it - Parenting. Hard work. Check, check!
But, at what point, does the mother of say, a 5 year old and a 1 year old stop with the diaper dramatics and just enjoy the kids?
When does she invite her friends over for a nice lunch? When does she go ahead a pop in a DVD and sit on the couch and snug up for a half hour of gossip magazine time?
Is she simply too busy blogging every damn hiccup to have a proper shower?
It all seems so contrived... these are mothers of toddlers and preschoolers, not newborn colicky infants, so unless they are being kept in a veal pen, it's a bit hard to swallow that these poor gals are simply just done in by the end of the day by the needs and demands of her offspring.
The need to go on and on about how hard parenting is bores me... yes, it is. Of course it is. And some days it's harder than others... some days it just sucks mostly because of the sneaky suspicion that you are doing everything wrong and your most beloved child is going to need a permanent spot on the couch of your local psychiatrist. But does that mean that FOR YEARS it needs to be whined about? Doesn't life ever take a different turn? To whew, everyone sleeping through the night... welcome back sex life! Or, hooray! Potty training success! How wonderful!
Yes, I have used my blog as an outlet to vent... as have many of the blogs I read on a regular basis... I would never suggest that a person not share or look for support... or not tell a funny story because the Lord knows that there is nothing I like more than a good old parenting mishaps (they make me feel better about myself), but I also like to hear about the sweet in people's lives and I hate when I start to feel that children and their moments are being trotted out for blog fodder, page views and ad clicks.
You?
No sleep! No nice restaurants! No good hair days!
Whaaaa!!
Is it wrong that I find myself yelling at the computer screen?
Some of these mommies are on the 2nd, 3rd or even 4th child which means that they are on year infinity of parenting drama.
We get it - Parenting. Hard work. Check, check!
But, at what point, does the mother of say, a 5 year old and a 1 year old stop with the diaper dramatics and just enjoy the kids?
When does she invite her friends over for a nice lunch? When does she go ahead a pop in a DVD and sit on the couch and snug up for a half hour of gossip magazine time?
Is she simply too busy blogging every damn hiccup to have a proper shower?
It all seems so contrived... these are mothers of toddlers and preschoolers, not newborn colicky infants, so unless they are being kept in a veal pen, it's a bit hard to swallow that these poor gals are simply just done in by the end of the day by the needs and demands of her offspring.
The need to go on and on about how hard parenting is bores me... yes, it is. Of course it is. And some days it's harder than others... some days it just sucks mostly because of the sneaky suspicion that you are doing everything wrong and your most beloved child is going to need a permanent spot on the couch of your local psychiatrist. But does that mean that FOR YEARS it needs to be whined about? Doesn't life ever take a different turn? To whew, everyone sleeping through the night... welcome back sex life! Or, hooray! Potty training success! How wonderful!
Yes, I have used my blog as an outlet to vent... as have many of the blogs I read on a regular basis... I would never suggest that a person not share or look for support... or not tell a funny story because the Lord knows that there is nothing I like more than a good old parenting mishaps (they make me feel better about myself), but I also like to hear about the sweet in people's lives and I hate when I start to feel that children and their moments are being trotted out for blog fodder, page views and ad clicks.
You?
Monday, March 16, 2009
When FB and RL and the Internet Meet - Hells Trifecta
So, it's not quite the Devil's 3-way, but it's close. At least as close as a mommy blogger can get on a family friendly blog.
Despite a tendency to say "fuck". Ooops! I mean, "f*ck".
In any case, the whole Facebook, Real Life and Internet has been interesting... just as many of you, my friends from inside the magic MacBook are my FB friends, so too are my FB friends, the Real Life ones, now Internet friends and suddenly I think...hmmm, this Internet personality is the one I like a bit more than my real personality (are you following this? Wake UP!) because blogger Kristin wears a smaller size and has better shoes than Real Life Kristin and damn all these people who knew me when (read: pre 20) are thinking, who does she think she's kidding? Kristin? Isn't she the dork who read a lot of books and drove the cute car? Lots of cats?
And I'm all - No! Hush you naysayers of the past, it is now I, Kristin of the modern era and begone are the cats (replaced with many dogs) and who can read if it means staying up past 10 or missing Rock of Love? And Volkswagen Cabriolet? Faretheewell... we're talking giant SUV with "Obama" sticker.
Still a dork! But with more expensive sunglasses.
Anyone following this?
But, in other news... nothing. Happy Monday.
Despite a tendency to say "fuck". Ooops! I mean, "f*ck".
In any case, the whole Facebook, Real Life and Internet has been interesting... just as many of you, my friends from inside the magic MacBook are my FB friends, so too are my FB friends, the Real Life ones, now Internet friends and suddenly I think...hmmm, this Internet personality is the one I like a bit more than my real personality (are you following this? Wake UP!) because blogger Kristin wears a smaller size and has better shoes than Real Life Kristin and damn all these people who knew me when (read: pre 20) are thinking, who does she think she's kidding? Kristin? Isn't she the dork who read a lot of books and drove the cute car? Lots of cats?
And I'm all - No! Hush you naysayers of the past, it is now I, Kristin of the modern era and begone are the cats (replaced with many dogs) and who can read if it means staying up past 10 or missing Rock of Love? And Volkswagen Cabriolet? Faretheewell... we're talking giant SUV with "Obama" sticker.
Still a dork! But with more expensive sunglasses.
Anyone following this?
But, in other news... nothing. Happy Monday.
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